1. A disease, a disorder, or an ailment.
2. An unwholesome condition: the malady of discontent.
Once my lover...
"Once my lover, now my friend. What a cruel thing to pretend. What a cunning way to condescend. Once my lover, now my friend." - Fiona Apple, "Shadowboxer"
Fits, don't it?
Yup.
We're just friends. When she calls... I sound overly upbeat. I tell her I'm fine. I smile and laugh and fill up the silence with the little tidbits of my day. She calls every couple days. I answer. We say our "Hello"'s and our "How are you doing?"'s. But I still want her. Need her. Next to me. Inside me. With me. But I can't....
Let me clarify for you what she clarified for me. She loves me. She just doesn't love me enough. She doesn't love me enough to give up her family... which she will ultimately have to do... now or any time in the future... if she is with a girl. Yes... Neither of us knows what the future holds. But it's pretty damn certain we'll never be together again. You know, like, in that way. Duh. *hair flip*
I'm silly today. Not enough sleep. Never enough fucking sleep. There are thunderstorms aaaalllll week. This usually fucks up FedEx stuff. Late flights come in. Work longer. Blah blah blah... But I get paid for all the time I clock. And I really need a good paycheck. Really really really.
I switched teams at FedEx. I'm still in induction... I just work under a different manager and with different team members. God... This new group is sooo different from Melvin's. So much more organized. So much less favoritism. Hell! I liked the favoritism! I got to do whatever the hell I wanted!!! Oh well... I'll get used to it.
Tongue is much better, thankyouverymuch-a!